Funny-Chrismas-Quotes

 

“Why is Christmas like a day at the office?
Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa?”
~ Bart Simpson (Matt Groaning)

 

“Christmas is, of course, the time to be home – in heart as well as body.”
~ Garry Moore

 

Funny-Chrismas-Quotes

“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”
~ Kin Hubbard

 

“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”
~ Phyllis Diller

 

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”
~ Shirley Temple

 

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.”
~ Larry Wilde

 

“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
~ Johnny Carson

 

“The space between Christmas and New Years where you don’t know where you don’t know what day it is, who you are or what you’re supposed to be doing. Yeah, I’m there.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal! Funny Coffee Mug.”
~ jessicandesigns

 

“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.”
~ Katharine Whitehorn, Roundabout

 

“Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart…filled it, too, with melody that would last forever.”
~ Bess Streeter Aldrich (Song of Years)

 

“Don’t be surprised if a BIG fat red man comes down your chimney and puts you in a black sack… I told Santa I want you for Christmas.”
~ alyson

 

“I don’t believe in Santa because no white dude would come into my district at night.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Don’t let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.”
~ Taylor Caldwell

 

“If you feel Christmas bells in your ass, you’d better let them out.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”
~ Victor Borge’

 

“CHRISTMAS is C-hrist’s H-istoric, R-emarkable I-ncarnation S-tory, T-elling M-essiah’s A-waited S-alvation.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.”
~ Calvin Coolidge

 

“Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.”
~ Anon

 

“Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.”
~ Anonymous

 

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. T hey couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
~ Jay Leno

 

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
~ Dave Barry

 

“After the three wise men left, the three wiser women arrived.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Standby Gift Ideas In Case Of Unexpected Presents | Stay At Home Mum.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Mistletoe,” said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry’s head. He jumped out from under it.
“Good thinking,” said Luna seriously. “It’s often infested with nargles.”
~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

 

“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
~ Johnny Carson

 

“Wishing you a wonderful Christmas, from your crummy neighbors.”
~ Anonymous

 

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”
~ Victor Borg

 

 

Thanks for reading this quotes and to get more Christmas quotes Click here..

Post your comments